How do I persuade my man to use a vibrator?
It’s amazing in this day and age how many men are still a little hesitant about using a sex toy. First thing to do is reassure them a sex toy is not a substitution and in fact will bring a new dimension to your sex life. Sometimes the man may just lack a little imagination, so why not show him how to use it. You can do this in two ways. Firstly, lay on the bed and get him to watch you run it over your body and building up to your more sensitive areas! Or secondly, put your vibe on a low to middle setting, start at his feet and run the vibe slowly over his body teasing as you go. Once you feel him start to relax, take his hand to the vibrator and direct it to the places you want it to go. Trust me, after doing that your best friend will definitely become a three-way relationship!
My boyfriend wants to try bondage but I’m scared it will hurt.
Since the release of FSOG, kinky sex and bondage has become a lot more mainstream and talked about which has inevitably made more people curious and wanting to give it a go. With bondage it’s all about trust, which is why couples engaging in this act generally use a “safe word” for when one of you wants things to stop.
There are many levels to BDSM (bondage, dominance and sadomasochism) and you must take the path you feel comfortable with for it to work. Don’t forget trust is key. Yes, pain can be involved in bondage but it doesn’t have to be just that.
For beginners you can start with some kinky play which will just heighten your senses. Why not try restraints? These come in many forms from tape, rope and cuffs. Soft cuffs are a great way to restrain your partner and you can then tease and build suspense, add an eye mask to this mix which will make your partner become extra sensitive as they will be relying on the other remaining senses. There are so many accessories such as crops, paddles, floggers, ticklers and so on - but if you are not wanting to go down the pain road why not try a flogger or tickler? These are designed to tease and tickle your body.
Start with these first steps and I’m sure you’ll feel a lot more relaxed about kinking up your relationship. Don’t forget, you can be dominant or submissive!
Should I try anal sex?
The idea of anal sex is a little like marmite, you either love or hate it! If you decide you are going to give it a go, take note of these few tips. Firstly, make sure you don’t need the toilet. Lube is advisable as let’s not beat around the bush here, your body is only used to exiting from this area and not entering. Doggie style is the best position for beginners but make sure your partner works slowly and gently and do communicate. Perhaps start with a finger to get the body used to the feeling. If you don't feel comfortable, you can always try it again at a later date.
I’m too tired to have sex!
With the way we all go about our lives at a rate of knots it’s not unsurprising we can sometimes fall into that low libido, can’t be bothered feeling. Other factors such as stress from jobs or a bereavement can all leave us feeling flat. It’s important to not let this spiral because it can become a cycle which gets more and more difficult to break. Communicate with your partner and let them know how you are feeling, this is important so they don’t feel they are the cause. Try these 5 Ways to boost your libido;
- Eat healthy food (cut out processed and fatty foods).
- Drink plenty of water each day.
- Take regular exercise. Cardio and HIT training is the best.
- Try to get approx. 8 hours sleep a night.
- Learn to relax – take a bath to de-stress, try inviting your partner
Other ideas to help you relax and re-engage in your love making sessions, get him to give you a massage, light some candles to set a sensual and romantic scene. Give it a go!
Is it wrong that I enjoy having sex outside?
Not at all! The act of having a quickie outside in the elements with the risk of someone catching you makes the whole experience that much more exciting. Personally, I feel actions like this keep your relationship young at heart.
I still want to have sex but I get quite dry and it becomes uncomfortable.
There are several reasons why you could be experiencing vaginal dryness. Some medications cause this and more commonly the menopause. But good news! There are several lubes on the market which can help alleviate the problem when having sex. Try putting some lube inside your vagina and putting it on your man before you start. Please don’t forget – if you are using a latex condom you must use a water based lube.